Surviving December: Five Top Tips
A lot of people have written to me begging me to give some tips for surviving the silly season – or ‘Decadencember’, as I like to call it (catchy, huh?).
You might think this is because I’m an incredibly together person who represents a haven of calm and sanity amidst the general madness. But actually, it’s because I’ve made so many stupid mistakes in Decembers past that people figure that surely I must have learnt something somewhere along the line, right? I’ll let you be the judge.
Without any further ado, here are my top 5 tips for surviving December:
TOP TIP 1: PARTY FATIGUE
I’ve found the secret to powering through the endless stream of End of Year functions and get-togethers is all in the timing. If, like me, you inevitably do or say something inappropriate or embarrassing and have to leave these parties in great haste, at least do it early in the night. That way you’ll get home in time to put in a good night’s sleep.
TOP TIP 2: BUDGET
There’s only one thing I can recommend here: build a time machine so you can go back in time to the New Year or Mid Year sales earlier in the year – you know, those sales held at times of the year where you’re either too broke or where Christmas feels too far away to take advantage of those crrrrrra-zy discounts. You could also think about spending up big on the credit card and then traveling further back in time when your balance is $0 and cutting the damn thing up.
TOP TIP 3: EATING
Anyone on a diet should just forget about it until either the school holidays are over or the shock of returning to work after the Christmas break has well and truly worn off. Not many will admit it, but eating leftover Advent calendar chocolate and bags of Santa-shaped Pretzels for all major meals is at once a saver of time, energy and money.
TOP TIP 4: DRINKING
I heard on the radio that the only real way to avoid a hangover was to not drink too much. Of course the other alternative is just to never actually stop drinking. It’ll certainly make the time travel aspect more fun.
Also, stick to white spirits with clear mixers. They stain less when spilt.
TOP TIP 5: FAMILY MATTERS
They say Christmas is a time for family, like that’s meant to be a good thing. Mostly it is, but sometimes your memories of extended family are far more endearing than the reality. If that’s the case, perhaps consider hiring actors for a few hours to perform a very tightly scripted family lunch, full of general pleasantries and glowing compliments about your home and your cooking. Cardboard cut-outs are also a good option for the budget-conscious.
Anybody else have some top tips to share?
The formerly fashionable NDM had three children and discovered that brown is the new black the hard way. The force behind the once-was-blog Not Drowning, Mothering, she now very occasionally writes for the sometimes-blog The NDM. In her spare time, she enjoys baking cakes, cyber-hassling advertising executives and collecting photos of unusual objects made out of paperclips. She is also currently considering having herself cryogenically frozen for the next 27 days.