News on Toast: “Women hate me for being beautiful!”

Columnist who claims she’s “too pretty” starts a global Twitter storm, bicycles scientifically proven to be unsexy, and the most magical commercial you’ll see today: The morning’s hot topics in bite-sized pieces just right for dunking.

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“Too pretty” columnist globally ridiculed on Twitter

Samantha Brick

Samantha Brick claims she is so beautiful, life can be difficult. Poor pet. Pic: Daily Mail.

Remember that Kasey Chambers song “Not Pretty Enough”? British columnist Samantha Brick NEVER sings that at karaoke. The 41-year-old instantly became the subject of global internet derision overnight after she wrote a Daily Mail article complaining that she’s TOO pretty.

Yes, Ms Brick (pictured left and above) says she is SO beautiful, it actually makes life difficult.

In her article she whinges about constantly receiving free champagne and gifts from men, being discriminated against by “jealous” and “insecure” female bosses, and angering female friends and co-workers who feel “threatened” by her looks.

“I find that older women are the most hostile to beautiful women — perhaps because they feel their own bloom fading,” she writes. Excuse me while I smack my head on something for a while.

Unsurprisingly, the internet has now started throwing virtual bricks at Ms Brick. The Daily Mail story has had more than 3000 comments, and Twitter users have started up hashtags like #samanthabrickfacts to crack gags like: ”Samantha Brick was originally cast in the title role in Pretty Woman but Richard Gere vetoed it because she was too pretty” and “James Blunt wrote You’re Beautiful after he briefly caught sight of Samantha Brick in a crowded place”.

Dear Ms Brick: Is it perhaps possible that the reason some women dislike you is not because of your looks, but because of the rampant narcissism you display in your article? Think about it.

>> Is she too beautiful, or just a egotist? What’s your advice to Ms Brick?

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Feeling unsexy? Ditch your bike, new study says

Bicycle

Bikes like this are totes adorbs, but what are they doing to your, um... er...

For the sake of decency I shan’t tell the dirty old joke about nuns and bicycles with the seats removed, even if it would make the ideal intro to today’s news that bike seats can apparently lower a woman’s libido.

The New York Times reports that the more time a woman spends on a bike seat, the less sensation she has in her, ahem, genital area. Apparently the design of the seat means things gets rather numb down there which, over time, scientists say, could lead to a female version of male erectile dysfunction.

Which I suppose means that once you get on your bike, you can’t get off. GET IT? Subtle humour, that’s the key.

>> Do you ride a bike? Do you… er… actually, I think I’ll leave the questions there.

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New Sony ad has to be screen to be believed

The new Sony commercial is breathtaking

A still from the amazing new Sony commercial, "Screen Story".

It’s not often you see a TV commercial that makes you smile, say “wow” and shed a tear all at once (unless you count that one for The Shoe Shed, and I don’t), but those wonder boffins at Sony have managed to come up with one.

Made with more than 70 performers and over 200 devices from TVs to tablets, “Screen Story” shows the life of a woman from birth to school, first love, marriage and pregnancy in one beautiful, continuous shot. It’s heartbreakingly lovely.

(Side note: I know this is an advert and not “news”, but renaming this article “News and Adverts on Toast” seemed a tad silly and… look, just watch it, I promise you’ll get something out of it.)

>> Do you have a favourite TV commercial? (If it’s the one for The Shoe Shed – sorry.)

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Wipe those crumbs off your face – News on Toast is over for Wednesday! Now, off you go and seize the day. But wait! Leave me a comment first, it makes me feel all warm and squiggly inside.

Main pic: British columnist Samantha Brick. Source: Daily Mail.

  • Michele

    The John Lewis commercial is the one that always gets me teary.  Here is the link:

    • Petra @ JustB

      That commercial is SO great – thanks for reminding me Michele! I can’t watch it without a box of Kleenex…

    • http://twitter.com/MJLeaver MJ Leaver

      Argh. They were both gorgeous. *sniff*