News on Toast: Is it time to ditch the green and gold?

Australia’s new Olympics uniform makes us wonder if it’s time to ditch the green and gold, Enid Blyton’s books to undergo a “totally awesome” revamp, and new stats on Aussie marriages reveal what we already knew: The morning’s hot topics in bite-sized pieces just right for dunking.

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Is it time to ditch the green and gold?

Sally Pearson shows off her Aussie Olympics uniform in Sydney. (Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)

So Australia’s 2012 Olympics uniforms were unveiled yesterday and, is it just me, or do they look like every other Olympics uniforms we’ve ever had?

VIEW THE GALLERY HERE.

Frankly, it looks like they forgot to hire a designer at all this year and at the last minute went “Oh crap!”, ran down to Rebel Sport and grabbed whatever was on the racks.

To be honest I don’t think it really matters a jot what our athletes wear to the Games, but if we’re going to make the customary big hoo-ha about it every four years we might as well do something interesting. Which brings me to my controversial point:

Look Australia, I know green and gold is our thing (side note, it’s also South Africa’s thing) but it’s just SO hard to look fashionable in. It’s one of the most hideous colour combinations going and yet we persist, every four years, to try and make it look cool. Isn’t it time we dropped it for a more tried and tested combo like blue and white? That’s kind of like the Aussie surf, right? Or ochre and brown, like our soil! Or just plain red, in honour of our Prime Minister. What do you reckon?

>> Do you like the green and gold, or is it time to try something new? What do you think of our 2012 uniforms?

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Golly gosh – they’re rewriting Enid Blyton!

Enid Blyton is being dragged into the 21st century with a modern "revamp".

Shed a small tear for nostalgia, everyone – Enid Blyton is getting modernised.

All her novels, including The Secret Seven and The Famous Five, are set to undergo a “revamp” by publisher Hachette that will see original phrases like “jolly japes”, “golly gosh” and “mercy me” replaced with more “modern” ones suitable for 21st century readers.

So I guess we can now expect Dick and Fanny to exclaim “awesome!” instead of “gosh!”, when they discover those smugglers hiding tins of tobacco in the marshes. That’ll be a big improvement.

Apparently only Noddy will be exempt from the glinting scythe of modernisation. I guess they’ve already changed that one enough.

I hope I’m not the only one who thinks this is utterly ridiculous. Changing a few phrases here and there in books that are more than 60 years old is hardly going to  make them more appealing to modern youth when they feature characters called Barbara and Colin who’ve never heard of television, mobile phones or the internet. One of the Secret Seven stories actually revolves around what happens inside a “coal hole”. I mean, you know.

>> What do you think of the idea of modernising old books? What modern phrases do you think should appear in the revamped Blyton stories? (I’m hoping for “totes amazeballs”.)

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Get married? Ummm, maybe tomorrow…

These hands obviously don't belong to Australians - they look far too young to be proposing..

The winner of today’s “News Story That Isn’t Really A Story Because Everyone Already Knew It” Award goes to the new report from the Australian Bureau of Statistics, which reveals people are getting married later in life than they used to.

Sorry, I should have warned you to sit down first. Did you fall over from shock? I did too.

The ABS’ social trends report, released yesterday, has found Australia’s median marrying age has increased by around three years since 1990 – up from 26.5 for men and 24.3 for women to 29.6 for men and 27.9 for women in 2010.

It also found more Australian couples are now living together before marriage – up from 56 per cent in 1990 to 79 per cent in 2010.

Meanwhile, newsflash: Gay people still can’t get married because it will apparently ruin the sanctity of the union. Unlike living together in sin for years beforehand, of course. That makes sense.

>> If you’re married, how old were you when you tied the knot? Did you move in together first? Why do you think more Aussies are choosing to wait?

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So there’s your News on Toast for Thursday – mercy me, it was a big meal! Sorry, I shouldn’t use such out-dated phrases… Join me tomorrow for the last serve of the week – the TGIF NOT! 

Main pic: Digital artwork by Petra Starke featuring beach volleyballer Natalie Cook (right) at the 2012 Olympics uniform unveiling. Source: Daily Telegraph