News on Toast: Is it time to ditch the green and gold?

Australia’s new Olympics uniform makes us wonder if it’s time to ditch the green and gold, Enid Blyton’s books to undergo a “totally awesome” revamp, and new stats on Aussie marriages reveal what we already knew: The morning’s hot topics in bite-sized pieces just right for dunking.

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Is it time to ditch the green and gold?

Sally Pearson

Sally Pearson shows off her Aussie Olympics uniform in Sydney. (Photo by Matt King/Getty Images)

So Australia’s 2012 Olympics uniforms were unveiled yesterday and, is it just me, or do they look like every other Olympics uniforms we’ve ever had?

VIEW THE GALLERY HERE.

Frankly, it looks like they forgot to hire a designer at all this year and at the last minute went “Oh crap!”, ran down to Rebel Sport and grabbed whatever was on the racks.

To be honest I don’t think it really matters a jot what our athletes wear to the Games, but if we’re going to make the customary big hoo-ha about it every four years we might as well do something interesting. Which brings me to my controversial point:

Look Australia, I know green and gold is our thing (side note, it’s also South Africa’s thing) but it’s just SO hard to look fashionable in. It’s one of the most hideous colour combinations going and yet we persist, every four years, to try and make it look cool. Isn’t it time we dropped it for a more tried and tested combo like blue and white? That’s kind of like the Aussie surf, right? Or ochre and brown, like our soil! Or just plain red, in honour of our Prime Minister. What do you reckon?

>> Do you like the green and gold, or is it time to try something new? What do you think of our 2012 uniforms?

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Golly gosh – they’re rewriting Enid Blyton!

Enid Blyton books

Enid Blyton is being dragged into the 21st century with a modern "revamp".

Shed a small tear for nostalgia, everyone – Enid Blyton is getting modernised.

All her novels, including The Secret Seven and The Famous Five, are set to undergo a “revamp” by publisher Hachette that will see original phrases like “jolly japes”, “golly gosh” and “mercy me” replaced with more “modern” ones suitable for 21st century readers.

So I guess we can now expect Dick and Fanny to exclaim “awesome!” instead of “gosh!”, when they discover those smugglers hiding tins of tobacco in the marshes. That’ll be a big improvement.

Apparently only Noddy will be exempt from the glinting scythe of modernisation. I guess they’ve already changed that one enough.

I hope I’m not the only one who thinks this is utterly ridiculous. Changing a few phrases here and there in books that are more than 60 years old is hardly going to  make them more appealing to modern youth when they feature characters called Barbara and Colin who’ve never heard of television, mobile phones or the internet. One of the Secret Seven stories actually revolves around what happens inside a “coal hole”. I mean, you know.

>> What do you think of the idea of modernising old books? What modern phrases do you think should appear in the revamped Blyton stories? (I’m hoping for “totes amazeballs”.)

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Get married? Ummm, maybe tomorrow…

Proposal

These hands obviously don't belong to Australians - they look far too young to be proposing..

The winner of today’s “News Story That Isn’t Really A Story Because Everyone Already Knew It” Award goes to the new report from the Australian Bureau of Statistics, which reveals people are getting married later in life than they used to.

Sorry, I should have warned you to sit down first. Did you fall over from shock? I did too.

The ABS’ social trends report, released yesterday, has found Australia’s median marrying age has increased by around three years since 1990 – up from 26.5 for men and 24.3 for women to 29.6 for men and 27.9 for women in 2010.

It also found more Australian couples are now living together before marriage – up from 56 per cent in 1990 to 79 per cent in 2010.

Meanwhile, newsflash: Gay people still can’t get married because it will apparently ruin the sanctity of the union. Unlike living together in sin for years beforehand, of course. That makes sense.

>> If you’re married, how old were you when you tied the knot? Did you move in together first? Why do you think more Aussies are choosing to wait?

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So there’s your News on Toast for Thursday – mercy me, it was a big meal! Sorry, I shouldn’t use such out-dated phrases… Join me tomorrow for the last serve of the week – the TGIF NOT! 

Main pic: Digital artwork by Petra Starke featuring beach volleyballer Natalie Cook (right) at the 2012 Olympics uniform unveiling. Source: Daily Telegraph

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=786188938 Stace ‘Frailbeth’ Irving

    1)  I’ve never been all that interested in the Olympics – you know, that swimming carnival they hold every year for the Australian swimmers – so I’m not too fussed about the uniform.

    2) I hate the idea of “modernising” books! If you want modernised Enid Blyton type books, write new ones. Leave hers alone! It smacks of re-writing history, denying the way things actually happened, and no good ever came of pretending things were different.

    3) I got married at 23, after being engaged and cohabiting for about two years. Relatively young these days, I guess! I think a lot of people get married later because there are so many other things to do first! Travel and careers and generally having fun. I think, to most people, marriage is less important than it once was. It used to be IT, you know, if you were unmarried in your mid-twenties you were going to die an old spinster, oh the horror!! But we have more options these days. I do think that gay people should be able to marry, I simply don’t understand why they can’t and why it’s even an issue. Straight people aren’t s special. :P haha

    • Petra @ JustB

      Stace: Agreed, agreed and good on you (and agreed).

  • Kelly

    OH! don’t get me started on modernising the Enid Blyton books!. I have quite a few of her “vintage” books that I treasure and my 8 year old  really enjoys reading. When I went to get a copy of “The Faraway Tree” at the bookshop last year, I was told that they have changed the names of “Dick and Fanny” to “Rick and Franny”!! . Seriously people! what is wrong with that!!!!There are plenty of new books written everyday in modern day language. Keep the CLASSICS. CLASSIC!!  I mean REALLY! lets just change history so there was never a time of GOLLYWOGS, DICKS, FANNYS, GOLLY GOSHES and GEE WHIZ. …. sheshk peeps, thats totes unrad.

    • Petra @ JustB

      RICK AND FRANNY???!!! That is an OUTRAGE! Next they’ll be changing Moonface because it’s offensive to chubby people.

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=797154044 Sarah Walshe

      Well, I was so excited to go out & purchase the faraway series to share with my daughter… until we started reading… in our version the children were named JOE, BETH & FRANNIE.

  • Mandy

    Time to start stocking up on the old versions of the books then I think. 

    • Petra @ JustB

      I swear Mandy, if they go messing with Moonface and Silky and the rest of the Faraway Tree gang, I’m going to write a very angry letter to Hachette…

  • Dr Ruth

    If they replace Fanny in the Magic Faraway Tree with “Franny”, I trust they’ll do the same with Fanny in Austen’s Mansfield Park. And what about replacing Mr Darcy’s first name, too? “Fitzwilliam” is so naff. Seriously, I loathe this trend for ‘updating’ children’s classics, or making them politically correct. “Huckleberry Finn” is possibly the worst example of the latter in the US.

    • Petra @ JustB

      Isn’t it awful?! I mean, where does it stop? Why not just rewrite the entire thing with new characters, new catchphrases and put them in a totall new setting. Like a school for wizards. Call it “Harry Potter” or something. Oh, wait…

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1599503946 Sylvia Davey

    okay here goes: for the olympics uniform i don’t think it matters too much what they wear they are there to play sports not win a fashion contests, as for editting the books DO NOT GET ME STARTED! first they change the names to be politically correct (seriously?) now they change the language – are they going to change the time period next? im not too sure about the later in life marriage thing i have a couple of friends in their mid twenties who just got married.