How To Be A Cucumber


I was chatting over on Facebook yesterday about couples fighting.  I was relating how I had walked through the city earlier in the day, trying valiantly to avoid a couple who were trotting next to me, bickering at the top of their voices.  They were arguing about ‘Dumb Stuff’.  You know the kind of thing:  ’I HAD to drop the car off at 8am’ ‘Well I did not sleep at all last night because of you!’ ‘Well you didn’t even get me ONE thing!’  You get the picture.  It seemed kinda lame stuff to be broadcasting across Collins Street. I’m guessing they might have been getting on each other’s nerves for QUITE SOME TIME. Or possibly they had been hit with the surly stick.

The holidays are, of course, the traditional time for family friction and couples are no different.  In fact couples are probably MUCH more likely to fight, I think.  If you are a couple, you are likely to be travelling together, with new situations and circumstances putting pressure on a union which might already be a bit fraught. You might be exhausted. You might be under financial pressure after all that Santa-Baby stuff.  You might just not be used to spending lots of time together.  You might be picking up the dirty socks while your partner is watching the Boxing Day Test.  You might BOTH be trying to be the boss of your relationship.  You might have wanted a new iPhone and he got you a packet of Iced VoVos instead.  See.  I get the whole holiday tension thing. I really do.  Add kids to that mix and things can get pretty explosive. Bicker-y, even.  Collins Street kinda bickery.

I’ve done some research for you, in case YOU are feeling the Collins Street way.  Here are my top tips, sourced from relationship experts, to keep you on the the cool, calm, cucumber-y straight and narrow.  Here’s what to do, if you are feeling a bit cross this holiday season. Here’s how to be a cucumber.

You may want to go for a walk, listen to some music or read a book in a quiet place via Reach Out

Watch a DVD together  with your family/partner – this will remind you of earlier times, when the bonds often seemed closer.  This could facilitate greater bonding in the present. via Relationships Australia

Limit your intake of alcohol – behaviour can get out of hand also via Relationships Australia

Use relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or focusing on your breath to cope with anxiety or tension. via Better Health Channel

I hope these tips work for you. I’m inclined to think that if you booze less you will love each other more. That is my top tip for Holiday Happiness.  And also, just take a deep breath and remember why you got together. That’s a good one. Plus, find something to laugh about together, because it’s hard to be cross when you are giggling. I like that one too. And finally, if in doubt, hug your pet instead.

How about YOU? Is the holiday season a Collins Street kinda time for you?  Do you and your partner bicker? Or do you have some tips up your sleeve that we can all share, in the NON bickery department?  Do tell!  Or pop over to Facebook and tell us there!

xx Pip

PS : My partner and I bickered while I was writing this, so I am totally qualified as a relationship expert now.



  • Julie

    haha, you’ll have to lay off the early morning drinks Pip ;-)

    • Pip Lincolne

      Whodathunk chai could be so potent?! xxx

  • nicolejenkins

    More great advice Pip, thank you – my advice is to be kind to each other. I take delight in always being polite and treating hubby with respect. If necessary I remind myself that his heart is good and he always operates from the best of intentions even if the results are less than satisfactory. Of course it works both ways and if he wasn’t nice to me too it wouldn’t work as well.

    • Pip Lincolne

      Oh that is SUCH good advice, Nicole! YES! Sometimes it’s hard to remember to be kind and respectful. Especially if you are flipping the toilet seat down for the 98 zillionth time! GOOD POINTS, Miss! Happy Nearly New Year to you!!! xx

  • Angela

    I friend once gave me this tip for diffusing tension and regaining perspective when having an argument with your partner. Both take off your clothes and stand in the cupboard or walk in wardrobe or even the pantry. It’s difficult to bicker when your nude and in a cupboard.

  • Angela

    ‘A’ friend, not ‘I’ friend. Oops.