Sometimes, when I go to the milk bar, I sneak a peek at the covers of those dreaded trash magazines. Ye gads! Am I loopy?! No. I am not. Don’t SAY that. I don’t BUY these magazines (any more), but I often cast my eye over their covers and heave a big judge-y sigh. They trot such rot. I like to think about feeding them through a shredder and spreading them across the bottom of a cage full of cute mice. (I can even hear the thought-up mice saying ‘Yay!’ ‘Cosy!’ as I type this.)
Mice aside, skimming these cover lines makes me feel angry. The poor ladies trapped on those covers. It makes me want to DO something for them. It’s akin to seeing a stranger being harassed in the street. I want to step in and give the bully a mouthful. And I’m not even very mouthy. I see these captive cover-girls and I feel a protective pang. I want to yank them from the limelight and make them a cup of tea and tell them I do not believe for one second the drivel that was written across their lovely faces.
It’s not ‘Stars Without Make-up’ or ‘Ange Leaves’ or ‘Jen Leaves’ or ‘J Lo Leaves’ which madden me the most. It’s the SISTER ones. Ugh. I can not stand it when driving a divide or setting up competition between sisters is the gossipy raison d’etre. It makes me super furious and a bit sad to be honest. Pippa vs Kate. Kim vs Khloe. Dannii vs Kylie. Lindsay vs Ali. Ack. Rot.
Are the gossip magazine readers of the world so very mean spirited? I mean, it’s not really FUN to take a couple of perfectly nice siblings and manufacture a line betwixt them, as though cutting a family photo down the middle, is it? I am sure these sisters all wincingly dismiss such dumbness, but it must feel weird to be publicly pitted against the sister you have known and loved since day dot.
I’m not saying all sisterly relationships are perfect. I am saying that MOST sisters get along pretty great a lot of the time and are really very glad to have each another. And yes I know some of these ladies might thrive on attention, but some of them might not and no one deserves to have a big fat wedge chocked in between them and their sis, now do they?
Let me talk about it from my point of view. When I go to visit my own sister, we do not put on our fight belts, we do not anticipate a ‘Who has the best bottom?’ championship, we do not prepare for a bout of ’Who is the most successful?’ and we are not shining up the trophy for ‘Who is the hottest? Or richest? Or smartest, even?’. We just watch telly and drink tea and cut our toe nails and stuff. We love each other and our shared history and mutual respect pull us together in the very best kind of way.
I can not even imagine how stressful it would be if someone (or millions of someones!) were standing on the sidelines, (which would mean in the corner of the lounge room) commenting on our differences.
‘Pip Vs Sara : The Baby Battle’ or ’Pip Vs Sara : The Diet Smackdown‘ or ‘Pip vs Sara : The Bum Olympics‘ Just imagine it?! I suppose the alternatives are kinda sedate and nice. ‘Pip & Sara Have A Nice Lunch’ or ‘Pip and Sara Playing With Their Kids‘ or ‘Pip & Sara Eat Chocolate and Drink Wine’ but THOSE are the covers I want to see! Obviously I would prefer a royal or a Deschanel to be the focus of the piece, but I WANT to see sisters having good times. I want to share in the greatness that is sisterhood. I want to see sisters on parade. Sisters smiling at each other. Sisters rollerskating. Sisters making snowmen. You get the picture.
I want us to reject the nastiness of Sister-matic Rivalry. And every time we see one of those divided cover stories, I want us to think of how great the Sisterhood is. And how nice it is to have sisters. And think of a cosy mouse cage near you.
PS :: And speaking of babies…