I DO … take your name. Or do I?

I took my husband’s name when we married. I changed two letters of my name. All that fuss for TWO letters… I am happy to have an anglo name as my maiden name is Dutch and I was constantly spelling it. Much more straightforward now. No more changing of names for me – thankfully I found a keeper early in life!

Your name must be a doozy for your signature to not even fit on a credit card!

Ah yes… I’m currently in the ‘two name’ club, as I will be officially divorced in the next few months. This is the second time too… :S

my last name has changed twice – I was  born with my mum’s last name (she was a single mother), then she hooked up with a bloke she married when I was 2 so they changed my name to his last name then, so it all worked as a family. They had 2 kids together and we all had the same last name. I didn’t know until I was 17 that he wasn’t my father. Anyway then I got married and changed my name myself.

I kept my name when I got married. I had a friend who married about 8 months before and the identity crisis she had solidified the thought that I think I had always that I was me and would keep my name.

My kids have their fathers name.  It never occured to me to do anything else, except that the hospital I had them in is religious and insisted they and myself have hyphenated version while we were there.  I have no problems with answering to Mrs O (their surname not mine) and it has not caused me even a moments trouble us having different names, it seems it is rather the norm where we live and the school is full of families the same.

Interestingly the Workaholic almost changed both his and the kids names to mine at the end of last year.  He had asked my Dad if it was OK and it was actually me who thought it was a bit odd and talked him out of it!

My mum and dad disagreed on what I would be named. Dad wanted Mary. Mum wanted Beth. So in her great wisdon, Mum gave up the fight and although I was little Mary to my Dad, Mum called me Beth. And so did everyone else. Two first names? Check. The when when I got married, I didn’t change my name. That is, until after my second child was born and I was tired of explaining that I was, in fact – their mum. So I hitched on a hyphen. But the school called me by my family name. Three surnames? Check. I may not look or taste like an Angus burger, but having lots of choices does make you a little bit fancy!! Loved your post and glad to know I am not alone.

I took my husband’s name. It just seemed easier to be ‘the Irvings’, and to know our kids would be the same. It wasn’t a big deal for me. It wasn’t out of tradition or sentiment; just practicality!

I didn’t change my name.  My kids have my surname as their middle name and their dad’s surname as their last name.  But they know it is up to them as they get older which they want to use.  It just hasn’t been an issue.  But most of my friends have changed their names when they married…

My husband took my name when we married. No big reasons – he just suggested he could, and we went with that. I feel good that we did now, especially because it wasn’t about making a statement to anyone.  

I officially took my husbands name when we married 7 years ago but I didn’t call myself my married name or really change anything until a few years ago.  Which was actually because my stuffed up and booked an international airline ticket in my married name when my passport was still in my maiden name, then I had no choice but to change to my married name.  I didn’t want to change my name originally because I wanted my name at work to stay the same.  I also felt that was who I’d been for the past 30 years, how do you just…. change?

Funny thing is I was always known as Nicky, my whole life but when I took on my married surname I started using Nicole for everything as I didn’t like the way Nicky Balderson sounded!

Around Year 7, I think, I went to the nickname “Alli”. Stuck with for years, even using it as my official-unofficial name in uni for my teaching name badge so as to avoid people reading “Alyce” as “Alice” (it’s like pronounced like Alyse). Then my friend (who eventually became my husband!) called my Alyce, and I liked it again. But trying to change everyone BACK to Alyce?! Impossible! But now very very few people call me Alli, and it’s weird when they do now.

Oh, and I took my husband’s name. New family = new name.

Ha, I kept my name, I was always going to, and my husband’s surname is one you always have to spell, and as a descriptive word does not suit me one jot! He didn’t want to change his name and could understand why I wouldn’t. I get referred to as Mrs, sometimes! Our kids have two surnames, unhyphenated, Spanish style!! We’re not Spanish but my brother-in-law is, I thought it was a great idea. I don’t mind if the kids decide to drop a name somewhere along the line. Oh, and both the kids have 5 names altogether – never will they be able to fit on the lines provided!!

I married 4 years ago and didn’t change my name as I’ve always found it patriarchal. In the intervening 4 years I’ve had two kids and they have their dads name and I’d be quite happy to go along with that. Except our surnames rhyme. I can’t hyphenate as it rhyming names just don’t work, and the rest of the world gets confused whenever I say our name “I thought you said….” is too pften heard. So, for convenience sake, I’m changing it. 

Started when I was 13 and thought I needed a bit more significant spelling than the childish Becky I was called so changed it to Becci. Having the middle name Robyn when my surname was Bird was a giggle for my friends but I was named after my Mother’s first child (I’m the 6th), a boy who died from meningitis when he was 6. 

I married at 22 and even though I was a daughter I wanted to carry on my father’s name (seeing I survived so much taunting and being called Red Breast in high school). My brother was never committed enough to have children and I kind of liked being a Bird.  But Dad said I should take my husband’s name and I became a Nelson.  I tried hyphening it, both ways, but people ended up calling my husband Mr Bird. Eventually gave in and became Mrs Nelson … until we divorced and I jumped joyously into being a Bird again. 

I met my current husband very soon after and we married and once again became a big laugh, a Swan. It was cute when our daughter was born, we weren’t married and the hospital put her name card up as “Baby Swan Bird”.But I’m now known officially as Rebecca Swan and in the bloggy world as Becci Bird.

God, that took almost as much time to write it as fill out all the forms!

Ahhh, names… that one is a doozie for me. I was born in Hungary so I have a Hungarian name. Which in Hungary is of course no problem for anyone to pronounce. Then throw in a father who couldn’t stay put: me and my Hungarian name ends up in Canada…. not good, not good at all. I spent all of my life enduring people butchering my name. On top of this add the fact that I have a Canadian accent, so that when people ask my name, my name and the sounds that come out of my mouth do not match up. Then come the questions: who/what/when/where/how/huh etc. And bless… for the person asking it is novel, for me, when it is asked for the 457th time, the novelty has long since worn off

(On a side note: after living in Sydney and Melbourne, I know live in Adelaide, and NOBODY in the 3 years here has ever asked! Love it ! )

Now to the married name issue. I just got married 3 months ago (yay for me!) and I very happily took my husbands last name. He never “expected” me to do that, in fact, he was so touched and honoured that I would take his name that he was moved to tears. 

I want to make something very clear: I am not my husband’s property, he doesn’t own me, I am not suppressed/controlled/repressed etc by him. It was my choice. 

It is such a shame that women, like myself, who CHOOSE to take their husband’s name are subsequently labelled as being “oppressed” by certain women. All under the guise of  ”feminism”. My husband is not a “penis wielding oppressor” . Of course this same group of women would still say that I am being oppressed, but I just don’t know it….. 

I think it’s high time we stopped bickering about words and paid more attention to actions. 

I am proud to be Mrs. S!

We never got married. Just not believers in the whole process. Seems a bit too easy to get out of and back into and out of these days. The kids took his last name because it’s easier to spell. My father writes on christmas cards Mr and Mrs as if we were and my Grandmother is always pushing as she would like to be there but we like it just how we are.

I was never going to change my name. I remember as a 15yo in the 80 s talking with my aunt about my name is my identity, she hated her married name. By the time I got married iwas 30 so my name had identified me for a fair while…..but…..I bloody married a man with the same name different spelling. So what did I do…..changed it.
At the time Tom cruise and Penelope cruz were dating so we had a good comparison and it still gets a laugh today.

I was Born Joseph Cuttone

I’m keeping my surname and my partner is fine with it. Then again, his mother and my mother have both kept their surnames (they’re Italian and Chinese respectively) and they’re still happily married to our dads . My name is my name, changing it doesn’t add or negate any more or less to our relationship and our commitment to each other. It’s fine to change your name, or not, but the decision should be on what feels right to you not what you think society’s expectations are because after all, it is your name.

i know what you mean about the name thing. my first name is sylvia but, i am the 6th sylvia in a row on my mum’s side so i was called by my middle name for ages to prevent confusion in the house. i didn’t know my name was actually sylvia until i was a year off high school and actually got a good look at my birth certificate. at 23 i am now starting to use sylvia more. it’s still odd though as there are still quite a few people who have known me by my middle name and i have know myself by middle name. and then when my partner and i discuss marriage the whole thought of changing my surname…i’ll have to get used to a different name AGAIN.

my sons have my partners surname as well as his mothers surname, much to his sister’s chagrin. but it’s none of her business what we name our children.
it’s a pain though explaining their surname is their dad’s and their paternal grandmnother’s and not their dad’s and mine.

and i am considering taking my partner’s surname if/when we marry as he has encouraged me and tried to be there even when i wanted him to not be. we’ve fought for our relationship, been through a lot. so to me if he is okay with it i would be glad to take his name. also, i dislike my surname. not because it’s difficult in any way but because of the man i got it from – my biological father – was not a nice person.