Hair Today, Gone Maybe Next Month

It’s Spring Carnival Fever down here in Melbourne and apparently, nothing says “high fashion” more than the scent of horse dung and binge gambling.

Still, when I recently went to the races, I did actually make an effort. I shaved my legs. Okay, so that probably doesn’t classify as ‘making an effort’ to most people but when you’re the kind of person who puts on lipstick once a year and who mostly leaves the house with her hair looking like a fright wig, believe me when I say it’s an effort.

Generally speaking, I avoid shaving my legs. My feeling when faced with the prospect of shaving my legs more than once a month is “Again? Really??”. If I were a man, I’d be like that old man in the poem with a beard that doubled as an aviary. As it is, I’m not really sure what dwells in my leg hair between shaves. All I know that is when there’s been one too many ‘Big Foot’ sightings posted on Facebook and all the (blurry) photos look very much like the Big Foot is wearing my favourite summer dress, it’s time to shave.

Unfortunately though, it might be time to shave but that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going to actually take my time doing it. It’s always the last thing I do in the shower and it’s always done in great haste before the hot water runs out. At best, there are small areas I end up missing which means my legs look like Shannon Noll’s face before he got rid of the ‘soul patch’.  At worst, I end up with an ankle mullet.

A lot of friends advocate leg waxing but to me, that’s one step away from booking myself in for a session with the local dominatrix. If only beauticians offered a general anaesthetic with a half-leg wax – that way I’d get a nice rest AND smooth legs. Yes, if only.

In any case, I think next year when I go to the races, I’ll leave the legs and try to pass myself off as one of those hil-a-rious people dressed as a horse. Much easier that way.

The formerly fashionable NDM had three children and discovered that brown is the new black the hard way. The force behind the once-was-blog Not Drowning, Mothering, she now very occasionally writes for the sometimes-blog The NDM. In her spare time, she enjoys baking cakes, cyber-hassling advertising executives and collecting photos of unusual objects made out of paperclips. 

Main Image : National Photo Company Collection glass negative, Library of Congress.

  • Magic Mike

    There’s races on? I thought it was the annual Real Estate Agent Convention sponsored by Garnier Fructis for men.

  • Jess

    Ah, NDM, you’re writing the story of my life here!

    I find that waxing leaves me with red, irritated splotches that make the legs look even more unsightly than unshaven. The red splotches stick around until the hair folicles recover, which happens just as the stubble grows back.