A letter to Miranda Kerr

Dear Randa

Can I please call you Randa? Because I’m an Aussie girl … and you are too and you know how Aussies like to shorten names. Speaking of names, I also have a son called Flynn. And guess what we call him? Flynny. Yes, the only name we thought couldn’t be shortened, we lengthen. What is it with that?

Anyhoo, last night I saw you in all your gorgeousness all over Twitter and Instagram for the David Jones autumn-winter parade and I thought I’d just pen this letter to you. Open the lines of friendship, so to speak. Because I think you’d make a really cool little sister. (Actually, scratch that, your mum is more likely close to being a little sister candidate for me.)

See, the thing is, I think I have a girl crush on your gorgeousness. You know you’re drop dead beautiful, don’t you?

And there’s also the bit about you being the BrisVegas school girl made good and wife of hunk of a spunk Orlando Bloom and all that. When I was your age it was our Nicole Kidman who skipped roast lamb for Tom Cruise, fell in love and become a worldwide success. Now it’s you that young girls get to look up to.

And I say, good on you. I really do.

I hope you don’t think it’s a little weird that I’ve inserted a photo or two of you into this letter. It’s just that the images from last night’s DJs show are just stunning. I know you had the lovely makeup maestro Napoleon Perdis do your makeup but apart from walking out under those harsh stage lights and our joint love for a bit of a statement lippy, I seriously think you don’t need any makeup at all.

It’s enough to make me go back to Noni juice (I did start but like most things I’m a shocker at remembering to buy more when it runs out) and start having those green smoothie things you talked about in the Sunday papers. Mind you I did once try one of these and it all tasted a bit, well, earthy. Which I know is clearly good for me but just it just doesn’t have the same effect on me as my morning cup of tea.

What I AM doing – and I know you’ll be proud that I’m not a complete lost cause – is that I’ve been trialling some of the skincare from your Kora Organics range. And I must tell you that I love it. Do you think there’s a chance that even with my advancing years that I could possibly harness even a teeny, tiny amount of the glow you have?

Please say yes. I’d settle for a skerrick of what you’ve got going on. And, just quietly, my husband would too.

Yours in ridiculous awe

Nik xx

Have you got something you’d like to ask Miranda before I send off this letter?