Life: Unchained Memory
It all started when I bought some chicken for dinner on the way to work and put it in the office fridge. I immediately became gripped with the fear I’d forget the chicken at the end of the day so I decided to put my car keys in the fridge with the chicken to ensure there was no way I’d be able to go home without it.
But then I realised my car was in a two hour spot and I’d need to move it before it was time to get the chicken out of the fridge. So I went to set an alarm on my phone to remind me to move the car and then put my car keys in the fridge. With the chicken.
But my phone was almost out of battery and I’d left the charger in the car. Which was in a two hour spot, in case you had forgotten.
And I couldn’t be bothered going out to the car to get the charger because I’d-have-to-go-out-there-in-less-than-two-hours-to-move-it-ANYWAY. So I decided to ask my boss to remind me to move my car. After all, they don’t pay him the Big Bucks for nothing (and yes, they literally pay him in large novelty cheques). But my boss was worried he wouldn’t remember so I said I would kick him to remind him to remind me to move my car. Which in turn would remind me to put the car keys in the fridge. With the chicken.
This of course put the onus back on me. Some might think this was foolhardy since I obviously have some issues with remembering things. But this was different. You see, I quite often feel like kicking my boss – even if just in an affectionate way – so the chances of me kicking him in an organic non-remembering way were pretty high.
It turns out my boss didn’t do a single kickworthy thing all day so I forgot to kick him, which meant he forgot to tell me to move my car, which meant I didn’t put the car keys in the fridge. With the chicken.
So it was only at the end of the day when I went to get into the (thankfully) ticketless car (the parking inspector obviously got into the spirit of the day and forgot to check that street) and I saw the phone charger on the passenger seat that I remembered the chicken and trudged back to the office to get it from the fridge. And it was only once I had plugged in my phone into the car charger that I finally got a text message from my partner telling me not to worry about buying chicken because he himself had gone out especially to buy some. Obviously, I had forgotten to tell him I’d bought the chicken in the first place.
Clearly, I need to revise my remembering system. Anyone got any remembering tips to share? Also, some tips on how to remember those remembering tips?