Life: Nudey Week & The Vicious Cycle
The other morning I found myself baking my daughter’s bathers hoping to get them dry enough to wear under her school uniform. Building on previous learnings which resulted in unsightly singe marks on my son’s underwear, I had the foresight to wrap them in foil. This meant that when the bathers were pulled out, they were no longer cold and wet. Instead, they were hot and wet. In fact, so hot that the resulting steam when I opened the foil parcel was enough to get all five children in the house running to the kitchen because they thought I’d set the curtains on fire. Again.
To cut a long story short, I persuaded her to put the hot and wet bathers on (“It’s like a bath under your clothes!”), did my best to ignore the tell-tale signs of wet bathers through her school uniform and then patiently waited for the rest of the day for the my Parent Of The Year Award to presented to me by the Governor General.
End of story.
But is it? There’s a story within this story which goes on and on and on. And on. It’s the Story of The Laundry and it never ends. In fact you might say it’s the real Neverending Story (the DVD of which, I’ll have you know, ended after merely 102 minutes. Neverending, my arse!)
In the face of this neverendingness, I am a woman divided: divided by my desire to declare a compulsory NUDEY WEEK at least once a quarter for every member my household and my general reluctance to transgress the Public Decency Act of 1966.
Sadly, even if NUDEY WEEK won out, there would be no satisfaction. No satisfaction at all. Even if every item of clothing was able to be washed, dried, folded AND put away, the reality is THE WARDROBES CANNAE TAKE IT, CAPTAIN! See the back of that chair, that dark corner of the bedroom and that puddle of unidentifiable liquid on the bathroom floor… they’re all part of a delicately-balanced storage system for clothes. Even my childrens socks and school jackets being left behind at other people’s houses is a very necessary part of it, people!
Of course, the ongoing challenge is making sure that there is an even and constant flow of items between storage locations, else a bottleneck results in piles of dirty, wet and/or clean laundry blocking the main exits to the building and/or preventing anyone from seeing what’s on the telly. And this – THIS! – is where winter and the constant rain and two week intensive swimming courses result in me regularly having to apply the ‘sniff test’ to EVERYONE’S underpants from the bottom of the dirty laundry basket. Oh, and steaming my daughter’s bathers.
What part of the laundry cycle do you find most challenging?
The formerly fashionable NDM had three children and discovered that brown is the new black the hard way. The force behind the once-was-blog Not Drowning, Mothering, she now very occasionally writes for the sometimes-blog The NDM. In her spare time, she enjoys baking cakes, cyber-hassling advertising executives and collecting photos of unusual objects made out of paperclips.
Clothes Pegs and Yellow Numbers available at Anything Goes Here