I Had A Baby. I Did Not Become Bootylicious.

Written by
February 8, 2012
Be Healthy
58 Comments

 

I had a baby. I did not become bootylicious.  I don’t want my money back. I’m okay with it. I got a baby…

This morning I got up. Ate two pieces of vegemite toast. Drank a cup of coffee. Did some work and waited for the News to pop up on my computer.  I read through Bianca’s post. Yep. Reserve Bank dorks. Urk. Laura Connors sexual harrassment case.  Go Laura. And lastly Beyonce stepping out one month after having her baby and looking pretty much the way she did before she became pregnant.  Um. Boing! This totally got my attention WAY more than the Dorks de Reserve.  I’m shallow like that. But actually, it’s NOT shallow. It’s bigger than that.

Beyonce had a baby 4 weeks ago.  She is now looking super fab and all traces of babyness seem to have been erased.   Four weeks after my babies were born I was either a) lying in a pool of breast milk with a pillow over my head and the scent of stinky nappies as my parfum de jour or b) holding a crying baby, typing stuff in to Parents.com with one hand whilst holding my pelvic floor in with the other. But that’s just me.  Back to the booty.  I think that if Beyonce is happy-fab, then that is great.  This is not about Beyonce.

Do you remember when Pamela Anderson starting having babies? She would pop them out and BAM! Twelve minutes after pushing out the placenta she’d be in a midriff top and ugg boots (skirt optional) on the cover of US Weekly clutching a mojito and showing us her post baby belly.  Her thighs were so trim you could park a truck between them, her complexion flawless, her eyes super-fun-loving hottie kinda eyes.  I’m feeling like that was when the trend for better-than-pre-preggers-bodies-post-partum started. Gawsh, Pam.  But this is not about Pammie, either.

Or maybe it started with (our) Demi Moore, posing pregnant and naked on the cover of Vanity Fair. Perhaps this was the turning point, when pregnancy body acceptance hit an all time low as Demi looked away (as we looked at her) up the duff, ‘brave’  AND hot.  It’s not enough to grow a human being in your body. You also have to look good naked while you do it?  Hm.  But it’s not all about Demi.

Let’s talk about Heidi Klum, who managed to be Victoria’s Secret sparkly undies ready weeks after the birth of one of her bubs.  Somehow, some way she managed to train herself into six pack shape, don angel wings and strut down the catwalk (smugly?), perhaps in an effort to inspire all mothers of new babies to work out for 459 hours per day and be sparkly like her.  But this is not about Heidi.

I have seen the photos of a pregnant Gisele Bundchen so I know for a fact that she was packing a baby in her now uber-flat, super defined belly.  Amazing. Inspiring? Impossible? You choose. But it’s not about Gisele either.

This from Jessica Alba ”Eight weeks after my girlfriend had her baby, you could see her six-pack. She told me to put an elastic band about my waist – any kind of band or girdle works, but I didn’t recover as fast as she did.” Um. Dude. Ease up on yourself. Eight YEARS after having my babies you couldn’t see my six pack. It’s OKAY.  But it’s not about you either, Jessica.

The list goes on, I’m sure you know. Elle. Miranda. Mariah. SJP. Nicole? Michelle. Kate. ‘Better’ bodies post baby than pre-pregnancy. What?!

It’s not about them, though. It’s really not.

Let me get it straight.  We need to be hot. Then if we get pregnant we need to be hot and take our clothes off to prove our hotness. After that we have to birth a basketball sized object via our nether regions. And finally we need to be Yummy Mummies With Sexy Tummies within 4 weeks of the birth. And get our kit off soon after to be a SUPER legit hot mama.  Is that it? Urk. Are you kidding me? Let’s not do that. Okay?  It’s not good for us.  It’s not good for the ladies.

This problem is, in fact, BIGGER than these TEENSY ladies.  This problem is everyone’s.  This problem stems from the crazy pressure placed on women to be as perfect as possible.  It seems there is an expectation (via the media and other creepy peeps) that women need to look as amazing as possible at all times.  It’s filtered down to pregnancy, child birth and post-partum now. I’m fully expecting that we’ll start seeing photos of celebrities IN LABOUR looking amazing.  And then it will trickle down to their babies too.  We’ll see shots of newborns captioned with little notes about their most beautiful, gorgeous, super hot qualities. Ew. It’s totes sick.

The problem also stems from the crazy notion that it is okay to compare women to each other, as though ladies are a commodity, a trophy an object.   It seems, to some, we are a series of parts to be viewed and discussed, rather than an awesome, whole, fabulous, interesting person. Sheesh.

What I would ask you is WHY? Why do we need to have nubby, toned tummies after our babies are born? Why must our thighs be firm twigs? Why must our arms be GI Jane?  Why do we have to be so amazing, fit, ‘inspiring’, perfect?  Why can’t we just kick around in leggings and slippers, cardigans pulled over our soggy t-shirts for the first few months of our babies’ lives?  Who are we inspiring with our hot, post baby bodies?  Why can’t we spend those first few months hanging out on the internet in our nighties while our baby sleeps? Or slowly walking ourselves back into some semblance of sanity/health?  Or just snuggling in bed with the tiny person we grew, sans sparkly undies* and angel wings?

Why do we have to be so darned fabulous post partum?  Isn’t GROWING A PERSON fabulous enough?

xx Pip

* Warning : sparkly undies are scratchy

 

 

  • http://worsthousebeststreet.wordpress.com/ Emma

    Oh Em Gee. Pip, this is SO TRUE. I am five months pregnant with my first baby (eek!) and have already had people ask me how I plan on getting back in shape once the bub is born. Getting my pre-baby body back is the LAST thing on my mind! I am growing a freaking human being, which is what my body is meant to do. Not push-ups and detoxes. Pregnant-lady body image pressure is the WORST.

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      Oh gawsh. It so is. It’s not cool at all. We need to know that being healthy and having healthy babies is the most important thing. And once you have a baby, it’s all about trying to feed the baby in whichever way you choose and getting enough sleep. It’s totally not about being a hottie! Sheesh. Stupid yummy mummy crapola!

      • Jo

        I lost my baby weight pretty quick with my first bubba, I was only 22.  My second bubba, at 31 is a different story!  But people’s opinions and the pressure put on mums makes my blood boil. The first 3 months after baby is a blur for me and the first time I felt brave enough to go out for dinner after my second bub, I was asked by a drunken fool when my baby was due. When I pointed out my little man he replied “Oh you haven’t snapped back yet, you better get a move on!” Aaaargh! It took alot of self control not to scream at him I can assure you.  I just calmly told him he was incredibly rude and to please not talk to me any more. I agree with how bloody amazing is it that we MAKE PEOPLE IN OUR TUMMIES!!! Lets all be nicer to cuddly mums out there, and remember that the babies love a soft cuddly place to lie, and if it smells like milk. all the better!

        • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

          It is the most amazing thing to grow a person. We need to recover at our own pace, bouncy or not. And we need to see a few celeb mums who are celebrated for their non bouncy-ness, too! Yay for mums FULL STOP.  Yay for the fact that they grew a baby (with a bit of help, of course!)

  • Sue A

    I was lucky with all of my babies i only put on about 2.1/2 St.Pre metric so with in about 4 wks I was back to my old weight plus I walked everywhere .and Yes I breast fed till 9 months with 2 of them.and I smelt like breast milk most of the time but didn’t really care too much I was having too much fun with bubs too care ,and my hubs didn’t care so it was great..

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      Aw. That is so cute. Fun with bubs is the best kind!!

  • Mu_au

    I got pregnant for the second time before I even got close to looking like my pre-baby “self”. I think it’s a nice idea to try for health and happiness first, then level of toned-ness later. Regarding other people’s comments, it seems to me that pregnancy makes other people go a bit funny. Suddenly they will touch you when they never would have before, and body comments are supposed to be accepted as normal! It doesn’t matter to me if the comments are ‘positive’ (I.e., “you’re all baby”) or not, my physicality is not intended as an open forum. I intend to wear dressing gowns and track pants for the next year. :)

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      Mu_au : I like your style! Let’s be the Slipper Army. We can wear our dressing gowns and sip tea and eat biscuits and hug babies!

  • http://www.writeawaywithme.com/ Beth

    I’m constantly relieved that I had my last baby 13 years ago, when maternity clothes were still super daggy and there was very little pressure ( on me, anyway) to be a yummy mummy. Man even writing ‘yummy mummy’ makes me feel slightly anxious and off centre. Beyounce may never know the simple joy of an elastic waisted garment! Poor thing!

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      Why does a mummy have to be yummy, anyways? That seems really weird. Surely BABIES are the truly edible ones!!?

  • blahblah

    Yes I am a bounce back type.  What annoys me though is that society puts pressure on women to also bounce back to work asap!  Does anyone else feel this ludicrous and unrealistic (unless you’ve got loads of free babysitters) expectation in our disgusting modern society?  It makes me pretty angry actually (Oh, thought you couldn’t tell! ; )

    Anyhow the body thing I’ve got under wraps (yes, after three).  Everyone has a different body type and I’ve been blessed.  But it’s the stupid ‘social’ expectation that babies and children look after themselves after they’re born and mother’s are meant to ‘poing’ on back to work that really gets to me. 

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      Oh YES! That is a great point! It’s a bit sad if we are rushed back to work before we are ready… It’s a bit sad if we’re encouraged to think that 3 months is it and then it’s back to the grind. It would be so great if there was more room to move… You are SO right. x

  • http://hotlyspiced.com/ Hotly Spiced

    After my third child (who weighed in at over 10 pounds), I confined myself to a tracksuit.  It was a very smart tracksuit – Country Road, and it was a soft pink colour and I thought even though it was a tracksuit, I still looked pretty smart.  Then one day when I was delivering something to my husband’s office a woman came up to me and said, ‘When are you going to get out of that tracksuit?  You had your baby months ago.’  And she made me all teary.  The problem is, women are horrible to women and until we start being less competitive and more kind, the pressure to be perfect will remain. 

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      Fark. That is disgusting. I want to punch her face in. Lemme at her.

      I agree. We need to NOT buy into this stupid Individual Lady Olympics and all be on the same super supportive and smart team. We can be the ones with the good snacks and fab sense of humour!

  • samanthagilkes

    I’ve recently had my third baby and I smell like a milkshake shop 24/7….actually sometimes I smell like a milkshake shop full of spewed up milk too.  I wish I bounced back and I guess in a way I do cos my tummy is currently very, very bouncy and kinda jiggly too!

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      Mmm. I feel it. My tummy is like that and I haven’t had a baby for 12 years. And my boobs! Bumpy road = boobie shaking spectacular.. maybe that is a little bit Beyonce?

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=669660772 Angela Osborn

    Dear Mothers, can we take a moment to dwell on a simple and obvious fact that we are all aware of, but often gloss over? You grew an entirely new human being inside of you! OMG! That is amazing! You grew a teeny, tiny person, complete with 300 bones and a little heart pumping blood through tiny, perfectly formed blood vessels. While going about your days as a pregnant lady, you grew your babies arms, its legs, its sweet little face complete with clear, bright eyes and feathery lashes. You were probably doing all sorts of other things at the same time, like working in your job, doing the grocery shopping, being a good friend, drinking tea, being a partner/wife/girlfriend, looking after your family, doing crochet. I don’t know what you were doing, but I’m sure you were busy and that is some very impressive multitasking. You nurtured the baby inside of you and developed its amazing little brain that thinks and feels things and processes all sorts of information. You grew a whole new person with its own unique DNA and little taste buds that will probably end up hating brussell sprouts and little fingers and toes that will take your breath away with their perfect formed wiggly-ness. Dear Mothers, it doesn’t matter how your body looks. It doesn’t matter if it’s not quite the same as what it used to be. Your body is amazing and YOU are amazing. I hope that one day, when the Husbando and I are ready, my body will be strong enough and amazing enough to bring a new life into this world, too.  

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      YEAH! YEAH! We can grow people. With tiny fingernails and tiny toes! And eyelashes! And nearly teeth! OMG. Who cares about the rest?! As long as we are feeling happy and supported (in every way!) that is all that counts.  There are heaps more important things than fitting into your jeans… like going on dates with your partner, kissing your baby too much and getting lots of rest.  We need to look after ourselves a bit and not be SO quick to start punishing diet/exercise routines to emulate the Yummy Mummy prototype. Probs there are no Yummy Mummies… they probably all just hang out in their trackies when the cameras are out of sight. I hope!

  • tj

    you are so right … so RIGHT! I was fruity after # 1 at 32 … but a little less bouncy and booty-ish after # 2 at 41! 

    Just where will it stop I wonder?  It seems so silly now but I fear a little sillier it may yet become!  Will those doing the mothering thing in 10 years be fretting over choosing just the right vajazzle design for their special photographic moment in the birthing suite? Yikes I hope not.

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      I think you might be RIGHT! How scary!!! Now that is a birthday suit. OMG.

  • monda loves

    Your last sentence really summed it up for me Pip.
    I can only assume that all these 6 pack, toned and twig legged ladies have spent the 4 weeks since their babies were born training and dieting and beautifying. I can only conclude in this case that they have not spent time with their new baby, loving and enjoying and nurturing.
    If I had as much money as these ladies, I could opt to pay someone to look after my child for me, and I’m sure they do. It’s really a matter of priorities for these women and their priority is clearly work, and money and self promotion. It’s a sad lesson they are teaching their new generation.

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      I guess they MUST have to spend a lot of those first weeks on the treadmill. That must totally suck!

      • tj

        Unless of course they are also super clever like our yoga mum and can do the treadmill thing whilst breastfeeding naked! … although we’ll never actually find out because if they blogged their fabulousness we  know it would be deemed innaproprate and blocked by the web monsters :-) … the world has gone mad …

        • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

          YOU are CORRECT, Tiffiny! What the heck, Zuckerberg?! Breastfeeding boobs are NOT offensive!!

  • danifromtheblock

    As my partner said “I love your body… yes, even your belly. It has been and will be our children’s home for nine months. I worship it!”

    I wish I could believe its amazingness (that’s a real word, go with it)
    It is us that need to believe in our godlike existence for creating, loving and bringing into this world a tiny human; not glossy magazines worshiping our lack of flab and stretchmarks!

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      It is amazing that babies grow inside people. Who the heck came up with that idea..? I guess it is a VERY SAFE place!

  • Amy Muir

    Amen! And sparkly undies ARE scratchy! 

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      I had to wear them for Jazz Ballet in grade 3. Totes scratchy!

  • reannonhope

    I snapped back with the first without even trying ( I was only 20 so I was still full of good elastic skin then!) but not with the second. That took years of work & I never got there. Nobody has ever said to me “congrats you look so skinny after your baby!” They were too busy cooing over my gorgous bubba & congratualting me on producing a healthy little person- AS IT SHOULD BE!!!! But I did have a family member say to me on the day I left hospital “Gosh your stomach is still so big!!”. It made me laugh!

    I think we need to stop looking at celebs as role models & realise that we are not the same. We dont have the help they do, the money they do & nor is most of lives focused on the way we look. I feel bad that there seems to be an enormous amount of pressure on these woman to “snap”back into shape but I cant help thinking they put a lot of it on themselves. If that is their prority, then good for them. I dont agree with it but it’s their life. All the mums I have ever met do not put themselves under this sort of pressure after they have babies. Sure, they want to look good but that usually comes months & months after they have had time adjust to their new life as a sleep deprived milk machine!!!

    I am not a yummy mummy & I really dont care. I’m a funny mummy, a cuddly mummy, a mummy who yells, a mummy who bakes nice treats, a mummy who is cheering at the football, a mummy who sings really loud & dances in the car to music my kids hate, a mummy who tries her best, a happy mummy. I think my kids would prefer me to be all those things than a mummy whose tummy is flat & arse still sits high

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      I feel sorry for the celeb mums. They have so much riding on how flat their tummies are. We don’t need to be that way. We can just be ourselves, right?! x

  • trash

    I was just wondering how you know about the scratchiness of sparkly undies? I didn;t wonder about the rest of the piece bc it rang bells aaaaaaall the way down the line.

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      What kind of bells? Cow bells? Jingle bells?

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      I know they are scratchy because I had to wear a sparkly leotard for jazz ballet once and it was NOT good!

  • Rubyhoppen

    Hey, I am deliciously yummy and I have a post baby body. It’s just that I dont have a body like Miranda Kerr. I look more like Mae West. Who wants a six pack anyway? Unless it’s made of beer.

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      Here we are Ruby! xx

  • http://twitter.com/tlc589 Tracy Collins

    Oh don’t forget about Miranda Kerr..honestly.  Isn’t  it an ‘airbrushed’ world after all. 
    We live in the real world, housework, jobs, pay bills, get stressed, post-natal depression, relationship breakdowns and all the while trying to get some sleep!
    Seriously…who is losing the grip on reality..the media or the consumer?

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      Um… I think BOTH!  It’s like a huge other-worldly vacuum of perfection and it’s sucking us all in! Argh!

  • Lauren

    Amen and thanks for the laughs! I have a 2 pack of “rolls” that is after my 4 babies and wouldn’t trade them for anything! So loved every second I spent in my jammies enjoying maternity leave!

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      Oh that’s so great that you were able to take some time off for PJs and Babies! Yay! Thanks for reading, too!!

  • Lucy_cochran

    If you didn’t have a thin trim body before your baby – don’t expect to after. These women all did have those bodies so they are much more likely to go back into that shape. If you have done gym & exercise over the course of your life (not just after you give birth) you will more likely stretch less.

    I am not obsessed with my baby weight. But I had two babies, and managed to return to pre baby weight within weeks too. I also managed time to put on some clean clothes & mascara & look nice. Does that mean i am damaged by these celebrity images? No. I’m not obsessed with my looks nor do I care about celebrity. Why would you be – celebrity land s not real life. Stop acting like it is and get real and be happy.

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      Hear hear! xx

  • frankjoemumma

    I thought I would have loved to have had the baby and jumped straight back into my old clothes but the fact was I didn’t even care after I had the baby I just wanted to spend every minute with him.
    There is alot of pressure to lose the baby weight fast but I think as long as you and the baby are happy. That is all the matters.
    If the husband says anything blame him he did it! LOL

  • Hannah

    Ah, Pip, you are lovely! I agree – growing a whole person is a real achievement – we forget that. I’ve had two bubbas, now working on number three. I definitely have kept my tummy between each bub, and sort of wear it as a reminder (as an “infertile woman”) that I actually did it! Some years ago, a beautiful blogger (who I can’t credit because I had post baby fuzzy brain at the time – ?angry chicken perhaps?) called it her “empty baby house”. Yep, this space may be stretched out of shape, hang over the top of my jeans, but that’s because it once was home to a 9lb 8oz bubba and then it held another one (and now another again…). A great post lovely, thankyou xx 

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      Oh an ‘Empty Baby House’ that is cute! Baby has moved on and out! Adorable!

  • Rachel

    Well gosh…Growing a person is pretty darn fabulous, quite creative and very interesting. Watching them grow and do things is also great. Going to the gym and being hungry all the time is VERY BORING. But, if someone paid me to do it, did all my housework for me, cooked all my food…well then I might consider the whole thing… BUT the thing is, I’m not a model, or an actress or a singer…I have no public profile, so why should I look any way? Folks are more likely than not, to see me with a sprouty bit of a mow, as in mustache!
    But, after 2 years after my last baby, and me edging into sizes that would require me to go to big ladies clothing shops, I said, that’s enough, I have to be fit for my children ( plus ladies in my family can reach 100 years old) so, I might be in this body for a long time, and I lost 10kgs over about a year…and I think that’s good. I like what Pip has written, and I do agree, but, I think as the Mum, be healthy! no excuses.

    • http://meetmeatmikes.blogspot.com meetmeatmikes

      I totally agree! Health is paramount! For Mums and Bubs! You are RIGHT! xx

      • Rachel

        I think that sometimes, when this topic is raised, and boy, we know it gets raised a LOT. It seems we all agree that, the stars all have loads of help, and that’s how they stay looking the way they do, and yes ‘normal’ mums feel pressure to look ‘yummy’ (blahk…that’s me being sick, I hate the whole term). However, I really feel it is important to emphasize the importance of weight loss/ excerise for health (even though it IS boring) , so you can stick around for these fine creatures (who are very interesting!) that you’ve brought into the world! I would be so mad if my Mother had just stacked on the weight, ended up with diabetes or worse just because it was too hard.  Our kids need us, being healthy is the least we can do for them.

  • Cowboy Bunny

    Oh, my do you know how to write woman!  You know how to relate!  
    I was thinking about this, this morning when I had a doctors appt.  I was sitting sans clothes in a paper gown.  Thinking about my stretch  marks and womanly parts, and at first wanted to feel embarrassed and ashamed of what the doctor would have to see (even though she is totally awesome and makes me feel comfortable),  and then I thought,you know what, this is who I am.  I have carried 3 children, nursed them, and am should be so thankful that I was able to carry these precious babies.  Now I’m not going to lie, my muffin top does bother me still when I sit, but damn it I should be proud of who I am, not how many stretch marks or rolls I have acquired.  In a comforting mom voice,” It’s what matters on the inside” is so true.   We have every right to sloth around for the first few months after a baby, geez, first year for that matter, and not feel as if we are gross.  These “stars” have trainers, cooks, nannies,  most of us don’t .  We are all of those.  
    Your so awesome Pip!  You make my day!

  • Jeanette

    wonderful !! go for it – we all need this wake up call about being super perfect, whereas our new bub would be happy with “mum”

  • Santoro4

    I had my two lil ones very close together and my body will never be what it was. That part doesn’t faze me too much as my hands are too full with my 2 and 1 year old! There are time when I look at my post breast feeding boobies and feel wistful about how pert they were. I remember in high school my friends and I would put a pencil under each breast to see if it would fall. These days I could fit the entire contents of my pencilcase under there! I really just wish we could see more ‘real’ women on our tv screens and in our mags and less focus put on these narcissitic celeb mummy’s for achieving something that I don’t find inspiring at all.

  • Cath @ mybeardedpigeon

    I often wonder who was holding the baby and talking to it and kissing it and gazing at it and listening to its little grunts and snuffles and introducing it to family and friends and making sure it was safe and warm and happy while it’s mother was obsessing about “getting her body back?”

    It is appalling that we see this as important when the world has been blessed with a baby.

  • Ceridwen Peach

    And THAT is why I love reading what you write.  Thank you! Absolutely perfect.

  • Guest

    You don’t have to, but why is it bad if some women DO find the time and make the effort to get back in shape? To each their own.

    • http://www.justbaustralia.com.au/ Pip @ JustB

      I don’t think it’s bad at all. I just think there should not be such a big focus/pressure on getting back into shape. YES! To each their own! Choice is the most important thing!

  • Guest

    Can’t you just be happy with who you are and let other women be happy with who they are? We are not all the same but stop judging another woman and calling her a ‘bad mom’ just for getting back in shape. Grow some confidence and be happy with your own choices. Nobody is telling you you are not good enough.

    • Emma

      I think what pip and the other awsome ladys are doing here is making sure we  feel good about ourselves away from the pressure of “being perfect” that society demands. Nobody said anything about being a “bad Mum”

      • http://www.justbaustralia.com.au/ Pip @ JustB

        Oh yes. Who is a bad mum? I think no one is a bad mum! Everyone does their very best, IMO. x

  • http://locallovely.blogspot.com/ Sophie_hansen

    I LOVED this post Pip!  Growing people is totally fabulous, and so is letting ourselves enjoy beautiful food and the odd glass (or four) of vine without worrying about fitting into our sparkly undies. Sophiex