Style: Ten Embarrassing Ways To Stay Warm This Winter

Written by
June 1, 2012
Be Happy
13 Comments

Are your family knitters? I grew up with knitty crafty types, so it was not unusual to be tussled into some woolly socks post- bath. Sometimes I’d be snuggled into a knitted pant suit. Or smooshed into a knitted helmet.There were tea towels with knitted edges. There were knitted tea cosies. Knitted toys. Knitted scarves. We had knitted rugs. Knitted cushions. Knitted headbands. Knitted coathangers. Our house was one giant yarn bombing, let’s face it.

Every couple of months, my Nanna would slowly approach me, wriggling something out of a plastic bag (the music from Jaws would be playing in my head). She’d smile with her lovely teeth sparkling and say ‘Arms UP!’ And then she’d tug something knitted over my head, making my hair rise in a staticky mess and starting the kind of insta-itch on my neck and chest that only wool can gift. Those were the days.

I’d wear my new jumper all day, tugging the sleeves down and shoving my hands between its itchy fabric and my neck every few minutes, knowing that I was itching for love.

It’s with this feeling of handmade, heartfelt generosity that we offer you these knitted undergarments. It’s the first day of Winter, after all, and we want to be sure that your kidneys are cosy and your chest is cherished.  Take a peek… Cosy up!

Ten Embarrassing Ways To Stay Warm This Winter
Ten Embarrassing Ways To Stay Warm This Winter
Does your Nanna know you are throwing your knickers about the place like that?!
  • http://twitter.com/Bethany_Bat Bethany_BT

    Oh my! I’m getting my Mum onto this right NOW!

    Scary part is, many of these outfits are worn as outer garments these days!

    • http://www.justbaustralia.com.au/ Pip @ JustB

      You are SO RIGHT! OMG! x

  • Angela

    All of the health vests are hilarious! Especially because they are called health vests!

    • http://www.justbaustralia.com.au/ Pip @ JustB

      They don’t look very healthy to ME! Look at all the holes in them! x

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1089966200 Rachel Patricia

    Thank god underwear has moved on from this or humans may have become extinct. No sexy times in those!! Pip, you are hiiilarious.

    • http://www.justbaustralia.com.au/ Pip @ JustB

      Don’t you think the boys look a bit hot?! *giggles* x

      • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1089966200 Rachel Patricia

        Ooh yeah!! Especially the young fellow on the phone. Wonder who he’s talking to? And what he’s say to her….

  • Sandra

    Can’t you just imagine some child being wrangled into one of those and being told “It’s winter and you have to wear it for your health.”
    Or as my darling Mum used to say “You’ll get a chill in your kidneys”

    • http://www.justbaustralia.com.au/ Pip @ JustB

      Oh it’s ALL about the kidneys, isn’t it?! TOO funny! x

  • Jo-ann

    Thank you for this Pip. The knitter in me is itching to torture the people I know with knitted underwear now.

    • http://www.justbaustralia.com.au/ Pip @ JustB

      Make them ITCH, Jo-Ann!!! x

  • Maxabella

    PMSL, Pip. This is the funniest thing I’ve read in ages (except for the ignorant jibes aimed at Chrissie Swan – they’re probably even funnier). x

    • http://www.justbaustralia.com.au/ Pip @ JustB

      We DO aim to entertain and inform! xxx