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Life : Hello? It’s Not Me You’re Looking For?

Written by
May 10, 2012
Be Happy
12 Comments

Every day I say hello to strangers. I am, in fact, passionate about saying hello to strangers, very enthusiastically greeting them as they cross my path.  I realise I have an unspoken rule about saying hello to strangers. It’s obviously not universal, and is so unspoken that some people ignore it altogether.  Even if we’re sharing the same footpath in the pre-dawn light, when we’re the only two ships passing in the almost-finished-night, they ignore, averting their gaze. No hello.  WHY?!? Do they think I am a hologram? Say hello people!

This non-hello-compliance by strangers is not exclusive to walking.  It happens all the time. People seem to not want to say hello. (Is it just ME they don’t want to say hello to, or you too?)

In the supermarket, I nod, or smile, or I say hi.  If I’m in a queue for bread, or in the bank, I do the same. It’s just the done thing, isn’t it?  Is it?! It doesn’t cost me to be a little friendly, right? I get it from my Mum. When I was knee-high to a grasshopper and we were walking in the street, she’d always say hello to people. I’d speed up a little and whisper, “Who was that Mum?” and she’d say, “I don’t know, but it’s polite to say hello.” I learnt from the Master (or Mistress) of Hello.

You know, even when I’m walking my kids in to school, I go to say hello to people and they look the other way. It’s awkward. I feel like a massive goober, like a shag on a rock having said hello with no response. What is that about? Did you leave your manners at home?

I think country people are more open to the hello stranger thing. I grew up in the country, and when I moved to the city, I found it hard to crack facades, to get someone to look me in the eye or to stop and say ‘HEY!’ City people get more caught up in what they’re doing, they’re rushing here and there, and seem to forget the niceties. (I can say this, I’ve lived in the city for 14 years.)

You know, sometimes I do a little test. I pick someone out of a crowd, and say hello to them. If they don’t say hello, I think :well they’re a bit rude, aren’t they?” If they say “Hi”, it puts a spring in my step. I extend my jovial hellos to the car too. I toot strangers and give them a holler. Rather than a test, this is a game. I see what kind of response I can elicit from strangers I toot at.

The crux of my wanting to say hello is connection. It’s about community. It’s about recognising people and being inclusive. Can we bring back this little piece of politeness? Will you greet a few people today, strangers on the street and say hello? Or hola? Or hi! (that’s just one syllable, you don’t have to exert yourself too much).

Will you say “Hello!”?

Pottymouthmama’s Lexi is the Sydney based mother of two rad kidlets. She works, tweets, blogs, pins and is advocate of the robot dance.

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  • zouglakisg

    Hey Pottymouth Mama!
    I always acknowledge people as I pass – a smile, a nod, a little g’day. Do you know what is most awkward? At work there are a few people who work on my floor who NEVER say hello or even let you catch their eye. With heads down and eyes averted they are the kings and queens of hello avoidance. I feel that I have failed in my attempts to connect with them. I like to smile and say hello to the elderly. Who knows? I may be the only person who has smiled at them or talked to them for days. I like the feeling of feeling connected to the people around me.
    Hello to you and yours
    x Miss G

  • http://twitter.com/LindaDrummond Linda Drummond

    Oh lady, I do this too – all the time. Normally just a smile as I feel mortally WOUNDED if my hello is unanswered – it’s like a cuddle with a stiff-arms-beside-their-body response – who does that? It’s weird though, when I see a male/female couple walking toward me I always say Hi to the female half first, just in case she fears I’m coming onto her bloke.

    In short “Hello there PottyMouthMama” thanks for bringing some Lionel Richie awesome into my day.

  • Ash K

    I say hello to people all the time too, my older kids say “why did you do that when you don’t know them?” – well how do you expect to get to know people if you don’t talk to them??!!!

  • quietvintagesewing

    Hello! I love this – let’s be friendly and make new friends. It feels good – yay.

  • Suzie ~ @styliseme

    Completely agree! when I go for my morning/afternoon walks, I always walk around my neighborhood and so think it’s normal to say hello and create a sense of community that is friendly. Whether people say hello back or not, I’ll still say hi and hope that one day they will feel comfortable enough to respond :)

  • http://twitter.com/ruthbruten GourmetGirlfriend

    I am totes the mad “Hellooo” lady too!
    and my kids do it too :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=797154044 Sarah Walshe

    Hello! Yes, I am one of those weirdos walking around town greeting complete strangers… You never know when you will cross paths with someone feeling completely lonesome & you have just made their day, I also welcome greetings from others. Kids are a great ice-breaker, I let people approach mine & I will share some fun information about them. You might like to know that my daughter’s name is LEXI ;-D

  • http://www.facebook.com/burrpa Anita Jones

    I find that older people and children really love it. Im a magnet for it.They tend to say hello and then keep chatting for extended amounts of time…..

  • Angela

    Hello! I usually say hello to strangers, especially when going for walks. Sometimes it’s a bit challenging because I’m a wee bit shy, but I think it’s polite so I smile and do it anyway. I love saying hello to elderly ladies because they always give me a warm, cheerful greeting in return.

  • Lea B

    I say hi, and it does add bounce to my step when they reply .. or even make twinkly eye contact, a nod, a smile. The averting, pretend you didn’t see thing makes me feel a bit stinky dog poo, but I understand saying hi to strangers isn’t everyone’s cup of hello.

    Old people however love it, and I like to think I make them happy, that young people ( ha, me .. err.. ok . ) are not a lost cause etc etc. Except old people in those mobility carts – they are RUDE and scowly. Always.

    I don’t toot in the car though ( you weirdo ) .. however, when I used to have a mobile office on the road, I used to encounter all sorts of grouchies, so it was my great delight if beeped from behind, or overtaken at great angry speed, to beam brightly and wave happily. That used to make me really LOL, in the days before LOL even.

    funnee.

  • mama mogantosh

    Yes! I love living down the coast in a small town. I think when you have a strong chance of running into somebody every day, you’ve got more to lose when you behave like a goober. People are more accountable, and thus they are nicer. I spent all my younger years living in the city and really resisted moving away. But that hello-stranger attitude to life really infuses and enriches community spirit. I love it. Methinks you are a country girl at heart PMM. Embrace it!

  • Denyse

    Hi Hello SMILE…I do most when I get a chance. In our suburb there are many people from different multicultural backgrounds but each will usually light up and say ” hi” back… Most seem delighted..our house has a footpath outside leading to the local shops, so people often pass by.when our friendly nearly 2 yo Granddaughter would see a person walk past she’d call ” hello” and then look back at me quite puzzled if they didn’t respond… Sad to say it was mostly young (read embarrassed!) high school students who weren’t sure where that hello came from! Country people are definitely much better at this as I found when teaching in the bush many years ago.